Warning : Trying to access array offset on value of type bool in /services/http/users/s/squelch/wp-content/plugins/search-everything/config.php on line 29 top ten | The Heuristic Squelch
Eureka!
Geez woman, have you ever heard of a bikini wax?
Is this where the stork’s supposed to land?
Are you aroused? It’s okay, you can tell me.
I’ve never seen that color before.
It appears that you have pneumonia. … Read More
The clitoris.
A distaste for razors.
Ralph Fiennes.
Donner Lab (by the time they’re a senior).
The missing link.
Knowledge of what to wear when it’s raining.
Hate for the views of others.
A crappy apartment.
Their high school friends … Read More
Eye-patch
Put it back on to scare girls when they go down on you
Cure for pink eye
Keep it as a “Hooded Avenger” costume for your penis
Replacement for salmon in a rainbow roll
… Read More
Sit by the fireplace and read
Snort RainBlo
Get wet
Steal garbage bags from hobos
Wipe sweat off brow
Wear pink blouse, stand outside, be Kirsten Dunst
Impromptu baptism
Go outside and masturbate (in the rain)
Stay at home and … Read More
I’m gay, you’re gay, we’re all gay
You can help yourself to Mom as long as you pretend you’re me
The babysitter’s dead
I hide the porn in the veggie crisper
Your mother was adopted
I “make love” to your … Read More
Underwater basketweaving prereq. not met
For your own good
“Readin’ Stuff” not an approved major. Yet.
The library wants their book back
Because you’re sponsored by Old Spice
They did, it was in Kelvin
119.5 units
The “chalk dust incident” … Read More
Fucks reindeer
Only gives rich kids good presents
Dates ugly chicks
Segregates weaker toys
Runs over grandmas with reindeer
Prefers to stay out of politics
Only got to be Santa ’cause Daddy was Santa
Fat, white, and ugly
Masturbates 8 … Read More
Anti-freeze in bong water
Pool supply stores looted less often
It actually gets even colder, breaking all laws of physics
Air-conditioners kick in
The homeless die
Significant Campanile shrinkage
SJP occupies warmer building
Nudists wear sock
Girls in skirts don’t … Read More
Sacagaweamacallits
Mars Bars of Gold
Reese’s Pieces of Eight
Mounds of Cash
Abbazabillion dollars
Peppermint Pennies
Kit Ka$h
Rolo Quarters
Jujudimes
Snickels
… Read More
To avoid jailtime
You dropped out of high school
See beautiful New France and, die there in WWIII
Fuckin’ G.I. Bill bitch!
Because you’re not part of the solution
To protect and serve your country
Because no one really dies … Read More
