Top Ten Reasons the University won’t give you your Degree

  1. Underwater basketweaving prereq. not met
  2. For your own good
  3. “Readin’ Stuff” not an approved major. Yet.
  4. The library wants their book back
  5. Because you’re sponsored by Old Spice
  6. They did, it was in Kelvin
  7. 119.5 units
  8. The “chalk dust incident”
  9. You have no hands with which to take it
  10. You’re dumb