Top Ten Other Ways you know Santa’s from Stanford

  1. Fucks reindeer
  2. Only gives rich kids good presents
  3. Dates ugly chicks
  4. Segregates weaker toys
  5. Runs over grandmas with reindeer
  6. Prefers to stay out of politics
  7. Only got to be Santa ’cause Daddy was Santa
  8. Fat, white, and ugly
  9. Masturbates 8 times a day
  10. Likes being in the middle of nowhere