Top Ten Reasons to join the Armed Forces

  1. To avoid jailtime
  2. You dropped out of high school
  3. See beautiful New France and, die there in WWIII
  4. Fuckin’ G.I. Bill bitch!
  5. Because you’re not part of the solution
  6. To protect and serve your country
  7. Because no one really dies in war nowadays
  8. You have uneven biceps
  9. Boot camp is watered down for women now anyway
  10. Free carcinogens