- Blue and Yellow mixed together, smartass
- Your mom’s crotch. Seriously, she should get that checked.
- Green Lantern, jealous
- A gangrenous leprechaun
- I’m serious, have you tried this Palmolive?
- Green Apple Palmolive. It smells as good as it looks. It’s incredible.
… Read More
- Thomas Jefferson’s evil plot to tip all the cows
- A job! (Those hippy slackers)
- That bartering sucks
- Lewis held captive by Lex Luther; Clark changes quickly in a phone booth, saves Lewis.
- Elvis, Osama, the Missing Link, and Sasquatch, all
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- Players who were just dragging the team down
- The life expectancies of those not rich, white
- Elaborate Carmen Miranda costume for White House dog
- Federal Youth Rec Center, thereby necessitating an inspiring New-Wave-music-accompanied fundraising scheme
- Collision insurance
- Gold coin swimmin’
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- Eureka!
- Geez woman, have you ever heard of a bikini wax?
- Is this where the stork’s supposed to land?
- Are you aroused? It’s okay, you can tell me.
- I’ve never seen that color before.
- It appears that you have pneumonia.
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- The clitoris.
- A distaste for razors.
- Ralph Fiennes.
- Donner Lab (by the time they’re a senior).
- The missing link.
- Knowledge of what to wear when it’s raining.
- Hate for the views of others.
- A crappy apartment.
- Their high school friends
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- Trial by jury.
- Christmas, Hanukkah, Commercialism
- Growing up, you dorks.
- A unitary autocratic dictatorship.
- Embryo, fetus, baby
- Chicken, egg, chicken, no wait….
- Christian, Jew, Muslim
- Mossimo, Stussy, No Fear
- White, Black, Asian
- Russian roulette.
… Read More
- Cicero (and his Troupe of Gyrating Choir Boys)
- Jimmy the Dancing Chimp
- Tony Danza
- Hitler
- Mr. Non-Sequitur
- Gandhi
- Marie Curie (’cause she’s hot)
- Santa Claus
- Stalin
- Jon Stewart
… Read More
- Win a gold medal in the 800 meters at the Special Olympics.
- Complete an unsatisfying ab workout.
- Wait patiently for the supervillain to explain his detailed plan.
- Cut the black wire … No, the yellow wire!
- Be a dick and
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- The old bulb burnt out.
- You don’t want to piss on the floor.
- You’re in the segregated south.
- Houseboy!
- You’re an ethnic minority and/or holder of an unpopular job description.
- You’re tired of masturbating.
- You’re Thomas Edison and think you’re
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- How ’bout I go and invade your Gaza Strip, baby?
- Don’t let the terrorists win has always been my motto, but If you let me buy you a drink, we will all be winning!
- I just have to say that
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