Top Ten Things Cut in the Federal Budget

  1. Players who were just dragging the team down
  2. The life expectancies of those not rich, white
  3. Elaborate Carmen Miranda costume for White House dog
  4. Federal Youth Rec Center, thereby necessitating an inspiring New-Wave-music-accompanied fundraising scheme
  5. Collision insurance
  6. Gold coin swimmin’ pool
  7. Any money for poor, liberals
  8. Scenes with too much expositionz
  9. Dick Cheney’s foreskin
  10. Diplomatic ties to foreign countries