- He’s really a square. I mean cube. I mean a Borg cube. He’s a Borg cube.
- Smart, well paid, and really (la)CUTE(is)
- House is immaculate, clean, organized, and can sustain speeds of warp 9.98 for up to 50 earth hours
- Can’t enjoy himself when he’s not drunk/high/one with the collective
- Instead of semen, ejaculates lasers
- Always leaves the toliet seat down, tries to assimilate you
- Instead of a romantic European vacation, takes you to a cheap motel in TJ and tries to assimilate you
- During first kiss, instead of slipping you the tongue, slips you Borg circuitry that leads to your assimilation
- Instead of chocolate, buys you nanotechnology that assimilates you into the Borg collective
- On first date, intstead of flowers buys motor oil
