Top Ten Signs Your Boyfriend Might Be a Borg

  1. He’s really a square. I mean cube. I mean a Borg cube. He’s a Borg cube.
  2. Smart, well paid, and really (la)CUTE(is)
  3. House is immaculate, clean, organized, and can sustain speeds of warp 9.98 for up to 50 earth hours
  4. Can’t enjoy himself when he’s not drunk/high/one with the collective
  5. Instead of semen, ejaculates lasers
  6. Always leaves the toliet seat down, tries to assimilate you
  7. Instead of a romantic European vacation, takes you to a cheap motel in TJ and tries to assimilate you
  8. During first kiss, instead of slipping you the tongue, slips you Borg circuitry that leads to your assimilation
  9. Instead of chocolate, buys you nanotechnology that assimilates you into the Borg collective
  10. On first date, intstead of flowers buys motor oil