- You paid Stanford $120,000
- You’re Kyle Boller and it’s opposite day
- You need to go star in a late-60’s movie with Ann Bancroft
- Like Stalin, your third five-year plan was wildly successful
- Cause you can’t go home and you can’t
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- Mess with those guards that can’t talk
- Eat fish n’chips
- Hunt big game
- Fly to New Orleans for Mardi Gras
- Carnaval!
- Tour the Amazon
- Oktoberfest
- Sake bomb
- Do as the Romans do
- Go to Amsterdam
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- Goodnight Poon
- Frog and Toad, Together in that Way
- Cocks in Socks
- Pippi Dongstocking
- Where the Wild Things are Filmed and Put on the Internet
- Bi-curious George
- Winnie the Pooh-fetishist
- Oh, the Carpets You’ll Mow
- Where Waldo’s Dick?
- Charlotte’s Wet
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- Silly String funny, not lethal
- Grandma Bush’s homemade lemonade
- Iraq painted fierce looking “X”s on top of all military installations, hoping to scare off U.S. planes
- Three words: R. Lee Ermey
- Human wall actually made out of easily penetrable human
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- Misguided “smoke a blunt, get a bomb” program
- Allah so much cooler when high
- Drug use makes you ineligible for the armed services
- The little girl on the bike that you killed while driving around high would have been the
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- Glory Hole
- Free makeover courtesy of the producers of the Ricki Lake Show!
- Lets you go both ways now
- Gondola ride to the top of Campanile
- Laughs heartily whenever someone calls Sproul the “Home of Free Speech”
- Moves around so
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- Christmas is really about the birth of Oski
- Junior starring Arnold Schwarzenegger was filmed on this very campus, the most successful movie in the history of the worldz
- City of Berkeley once populated by lazy blacks and Latinos with low
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- Friendly Yolkels
- 73% of your RDA of cholesterol
- My hatred for those Jesus murderers who couldn’t appreciate Easter if you lit it on fire and stuck it in a menorah
- Fucking three yolks! I swear man, this one time. It
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- Blue and Yellow mixed together, smartass
- Your mom’s crotch. Seriously, she should get that checked.
- Green Lantern, jealous
- A gangrenous leprechaun
- I’m serious, have you tried this Palmolive?
- Green Apple Palmolive. It smells as good as it looks. It’s incredible.
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- Thomas Jefferson’s evil plot to tip all the cows
- A job! (Those hippy slackers)
- That bartering sucks
- Lewis held captive by Lex Luther; Clark changes quickly in a phone booth, saves Lewis.
- Elvis, Osama, the Missing Link, and Sasquatch, all
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