- You paid Stanford $120,000
- You’re Kyle Boller and it’s opposite day
- You need to go star in a late-60’s movie with Ann Bancroft
- Like Stalin, your third five-year plan was wildly successful
- Cause you can’t go home and you can’t stay here
- The University caved in and dropped all charges against you
- They don’t care which Nick Chen gets a diploma
- You paint lines on cylinders at a scientific-supply factory
- Stuck in the Greek Theatre when the doors close
- 4 units x 33 semesters = over the max!
