Double Homicide, Kitchen
Sherlock Holmes: Yes, hmmm, yes.
[Holmes paces up and down the dingy room excitedly, pausing briefly every few minutes to examine a loose screw or the victims’ shoes.]
Detective Brass: His wife … Read More
LC
Palazzo Apartments, #205. El Cerrito
Satisfied regulars describe LC’s weed as “dank” and “where are my keys.” Service is “butt-slow,” however; calling an hour ahead is recommended “so he can wake up and answer the door.” Also, closed from … Read More
Picture this: You’re casually practicing volleyball at a Malibu beach court with your handsome heterosexual best friend, Chet, discussing the subjects that every straight man thinks about: girls, highlighter shorts, the proper form for a leg press, watching football, and … Read More
As a Canadian living in America, I have come to realize that you guys know next to nothing about your neighbors to the north, nor do you express any desire to know us. What, you think you’re better than us … Read More
I’ll never be an athlete. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I got picked last in P.E. or anything. I wasn’t the fat kid, or the crutches kid, or the kid with mittens sewn onto his sleeves to create … Read More
_First Date _
Margaret: …then he said he could never marry me. I guess I’ve been afraid of a serious relationship ever since.
Mega: Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz.
Margaret: Ohh thank you. You’re right, I do deserve better.
Mega: Bzzzz.
Margaret: I’ve … Read More
You: Finally, I’ve been looking forward to this all day. Are you ready for some yoga?
Yoga Instructor: You know, it’s been a long day, and I’m really tired…I’m just not in the mood right now. Is that … Read More
Q. Did you see someone leave Ms. Sakamura’s apartment on the night in question?
A. Yes.
Q. And were you able to identify this person?
A. Yes.
Q. How?
A. I recognized his something something corduroy something.
Q. Was there … Read More
In this fast-paced internet-based fiber-optic African-swallow age of ours where time is money and money some sort of meta-time, we’re just too busy for standard courtship whether in romance, finance, or metallurgy. We need answers and we need them before … Read More
1. Go to your professors’ office hours, no matter how early they are. The interaction between student and old horny intellectual is a tradition dating back to Plato and Socrates. You won’t learn a damn thing, but smart people need … Read More
