Q : My sword is not cleaving through enemy hordes like it should.
A : Be sure to remove your sword from your sheath before attempting to slaughter enemy hordes. The sheath is recognizable by its non-metallic surface and its … Read More
Tag Archives: feature
A Very Few Special Entries in the Diary of Genghis Khan
March 4, 1187 AD
Today one of my more talkative concubines suggested that I should get a girlfriend. A girlfriend, she said, is a lot like a concubine, except you can’t have sex with other more attractive concubines, and that, … Read More
Five Hipsters: A Play in One Act
Begin Act I **
**Hipster No. 1 : [Entering room.] Hey guys, what’s up?
Hipster No. 2 : Hey man.
Hipster No. 3 : Sup.
Hipster No. 4 : Manao ahoana.
No. 2 : Malagasy? Nice. [They … Read More
Ebert & Roeper & Blind Guy – At the Movies
_Day 1 _
Ebert : Hello everyone, and welcome back to Ebert and Roeper at the movies. Due to some of my unfortunate statements regarding the Americans with Disabilities Act, the court has ordered someone new to join us. So … Read More
Words From the Top
Shape Up, USA!
According to most of the studies done on this kind of thing, America is the fattest country in the world. I know for a fact that this isn’t true, because I know of some island nation somewhere where, no lie, … Read More
The Future of Video Game Series
The Sims 3: Barely Makin’ Ends Meet!
Players will delight as their Sims put the “rock” back in rock bottom! Get fired from the slaughterhouse, perform comically censored but highly suggestive sexual favors for strangers, and earn enough to pay … Read More
The Diary of the Last Man on Earth
Janaury 18, 2008
It’s been three weeks now since the sky turned green and the storms began. I thought it was some kind of terrorist attack, or environmental disaster, but I’m at a loss for what really happened. I’ve been … Read More
A Very aDoyle-able Christmas
Well it’s been an amazing year full of blessings, challenges, and rough-edged rewards. It all started last year when our whole family–Alan, Lindsey, our beloved dog Jonathan, and our beloved son Harold–found ourselves back under one roof, one garage, and … Read More
Class Act
Let’s face it; you’re not getting any. In fact, you haven’t gotten any, and by the look of things (you in a bathrobe eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch at three in the afternoon), you’re not going to get any. And by … Read More
A Little Something for the Ladies
An open letter to all you female readers out there, guaranteed to soak through even the most absorbent of pants.
Hey there, lady.
That’s right, you know who this is. You must know, then, that it’s that time again for … Read More
