August 21, 2007

Dear Tenants,

I hope you have enjoyed your first couple weeks at Parker Street Apartments.

However, we do have just a few reminders and requests:

-In an effort to reduce foot traffic, we are requesting that you … Read More

When I was a little kid I always thought my life would get better and better and better. Well has it? Let us compare.

Mornings
Me at 6 : I wake up early for cartoons!
Me at 16 : I … Read More

Lately, I’ve been wanting to get good and fired. It’s just one of those things that I want to try once before I die, like meth…again. I’ve been brainstorming ways. Here are a few:

**Propose a ‘Cleanest Pussy in the … Read More

Reply to: 9634890095@craigslist.org
Posting : I’m a horny big black woman desperate for some cock.
Translation: My name is Eddie Murphy and I just want to get back into my big black woman costume I used in Norbit. I … Read More

Berkeley attracts homeless people like sluts attract Chlamydia, only sluts can treat Chlamydia, while we are left to deal with the itchy discharge that is the homeless. Every homeless man, woman or dog uses some weep-story tragedy to try to … Read More

Scenario One:

Using the English Language
Hung-over: When hung-over, complex words like “uhhhhhhnng” are often hard to pronounce. You are light-headed. You feel like you might vomit. You do vomit. You try to tell one of the workers at Jack-in-the-Box … Read More

College students are poor…unless you’re me, then you’re really fucking rich. As a student, I too have to deal with problems, but I cope with them in a different, much wealthier way.

Purchasing Textbooks

You: I stayed up all last … Read More

Anne Frank is considered by many to be the Lance Armstrong of hiding
from Nazi oppressors. Her secret diary made her one of World War II’s
most beloved personalities. But while Anne wrote away, the goofier and
more optically-challenged Margot … Read More