Features
- Heuristic Squelch’s Treasury of Soul-Crushing Quotes
- Welcome Week Packet for Incoming Freshmen, 1869
- HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT ADDERALL?
- Words from the Top
- Man Wears Clearly Ironic Shirt Non-Ironically
- Things I Wouldn’t Mind Raising Tuition For
- The Kitten Manifesto
- Hip Directors
- Campus Coupons
- Atom & Eve
Newsflashes
- Congress Overturns Law of Cause and Effect
- Freshman Trades Sense of Identity with School Spirit
- United States Established as Monarchy Following Gun Control
- Something Happened in Tunisia
