Campus Coupons

These coupons are redeemable on the UC Berkeley campus only. Some restrictions may apply. Reproduction of these coupons is prohibited by law. Any other use is prohibited by law.

From your GSI:
Redeemable for one irrelevant tangent during section.

Tangent may last up to 5 minutes, 10 if it relates to my dissertation.

From the Library:
Attach this coupon to your laptop to prevent it from getting stolen when you go to the bathroom.

Even if you’re stupid enough to just leave it on the table.

From the Dining Commons:
One (1) cute girl won’t get up right when you sit down next to her.

From Unit 3 Res Hall:
Redeemable for dignity during walk of shame.

Offer not valid for walks shorter than 3 doors.

For Sproul Plaza:
Present this coupon to a flyerer just to turn the tables on those mother fuckers and blow their minds.

From STB Fraternity:
Guarantees bearer forgiveness of one party foul.

(Epic party fouls excluded.)

From your Professor:
Exchange coupon during office hours to freely express your terrible ideas.
    “I’ll just let you realize on your own that everything you’re saying is wrong.”

Fror Telebears:
Enter code below to bypass waitlist.

Code: 38F6S

That is, this code will allow you to bypass the initial waitlist to get the code to talk to the code advisor, who will schedule your interview with the Registrar (Administrator) of codes, who will provide the Intent to Fill out Form form, which should be delivered to the waitlist Chancellor, who will administer your waitlist number to get into the Chamber of Codes, where you will find the Ready to Fill out Form form, which should be delivered to the code advisor, who will then explain that there is no way to graduate in four years.