Features
- Words from the Top
- A Children’s Hospital Run By Children
- Diary Confessions of a Community Service Frat Boy
- Existential Teen Comedies
- A Guide to College Drinking
- Magick Security Alert
- Future Battles
- Dr. Grimm’s Fairy Tale Relationship Counseling
- A Middle School Girl’s Idea of What the Rest of Life is Like
Newsflashes
- Rescued Chilean Miners Can Finally Return to Poverty
- Berkeley Scientists Successfully Synthesize Nothing
- UN Responds to Midlife Crisis
- Statue of Liberty Aggressively Remodeled to Reflect Modern American Values
- Whitman Concedes After Learning Mexicans Can Vote
Top Tens
- Top Ten Ways for a Billionaire to Die
- Top Ten Animals with Jobs
- Top Ten Signs that Berkeley is Located on the Hellmouth
- Top One Articles of Clothing Made Out of Accessories Inspired by Founding Principles of our Union
- Top Ten Outcasts in Their Major
- Top Ten Video Games About Retirement
- Top Ten Sequels to Sex Drive, the movie where this guy has to go on a long drive so this chick with do him
