Top Ten Signs that Berkeley is Located on the Hellmouth

  1. Flyerers unfazed when you call them “Satan.”
  2. Students are all brimstoned.
  3. Homeless speak in tongues.
  4. Christian Fellowships try to get you off campus.
  5. Horny GSI’s.
  6. Dark passages that extend deep underground.
  7. Hellishly overprice textbooks.
  8. Pale, nocturnal creatures sometimes emerge from Evans.
  9. School run by shadowy cabal of figures that no one has actually seen.
  10. Lecture halls always uncomfortably hot.