- Silly String funny, not lethal
- Grandma Bush’s homemade lemonade
- Iraq painted fierce looking “X”s on top of all military installations, hoping to scare off U.S. planes
- Three words: R. Lee Ermey
- Human wall actually made out of easily penetrable human
Author Archives: The Squelch
Top Eight Pornographic Oscar-Nominated Films
- About Slit
- Fellate Me if You Can
- My Big Fat Greek Wedding Night
- The Hours and Hours of Sex
- About a Boytoy
- Spirited Lay
- The 12-inch Uncircumcised Pianist
- Gangbangs of New York
Top Ten Greatest Things Prior to Sliced Bread
- Chicken… or the egg
- Unsliced condoms
- Fusion power
- The telephone
- Marzipan!
- Loaves
- Not dying of cholera
- Sex and/or masturbation
- Bread Slicer, invented in 1793 by Eli Whitney
- Sliced peanut butter
Top Ten Other Things to Do in Your Year Abroad in France
- Grow a thin mustache
- Smoke cigarettes and look cool
- Pop that kid’s damn balloon
- Tell every French person you meet, “Gee, how ’bout that Maginot Line?”
- Fall in love with a beast
- Try to step in the exact same place
Top Ten Reasons You’re Graduating
- You paid Stanford $120,000
- You’re Kyle Boller and it’s opposite day
- You need to go star in a late-60’s movie with Ann Bancroft
- Like Stalin, your third five-year plan was wildly successful
- Cause you can’t go home and you can’t
Top Ten Pornographic Children’s Books
- Goodnight Poon
- Frog and Toad, Together in that Way
- Cocks in Socks
- Pippi Dongstocking
- Where the Wild Things are Filmed and Put on the Internet
- Bi-curious George
- Winnie the Pooh-fetishist
- Oh, the Carpets You’ll Mow
- Where Waldo’s Dick?
- Charlotte’s Wet
Researchers Seek Subjects for New Study on Sexuality
Researchers at the Pi Kappa Alpha Institute have put out an open call for test subjects to participate in a groundbreaking experiment on human sexuality. Citing a recent lack of “hot poonar”, the scientists have taken it upon themselves to … Read More
Man Dips Penis in Fish Tank, Tells No One
But don’t you tell anybody, okay?… Read More
Top Ten Reasons to Donate Your Eggs
- Free porn!
- Being an egg loaner not lucrative enough
- Lower your cholesterol
- So you can experience the joy of being a donor
- You’re an Olympic runner and they’re weighing you down
- Beats being a leg donor
- You’re tired of seeing
Top Ten Almost Palindromes
- Amit Tamir
- Smurf socks smurf
- Subtle Butler
- Baal’s slab
- Drab draft
- Campanile C
- Poopy
- La Val’s
- Amish Shrimp
- Yves’ racecar: Chevy!