The international world was shocked last week by the surprise return of Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome, or SARS, in the same region of China where the original outbreak took place.
“I thought that we had seen the last of SARS, … Read More
The international world was shocked last week by the surprise return of Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome, or SARS, in the same region of China where the original outbreak took place.
“I thought that we had seen the last of SARS, … Read More
So it’s one of the first days at my new job, and I am still in that precarious, delicate, virginal, stage when the world is full of possibilities and I’m nervous but simply can’t wait for a chance to prove … Read More
American Studies majors from across the country gathered in DC yesterday to argue for the US to “liberate Cancun.”
“With Cancun in the US we could do so much studying,” said Junior Mark Chard, “I can just see myself on … Read More
You meet a nice girl at a party; she tells you about her trip to Mexico; you tell her about your parents’ divorce and your father’s eventual cohabitation with Carlos, a Mexican national. You’ve just found yourself in an awkward … Read More
One of the things I remember most fondly from my youth is the literature of childhood–specifically, the characters that I grew up with, and came to regard as my friends. Well, now I miss my boyhood chums, so, in an … Read More
An uproar struck Freeborn Hall late Thursday when it was revealed that resident and self-professed “straightedge” Eddie McAllister looks way ripped on his student identification card.
The veracity of McAllister’s claim that he lives free from drugs and alcohol was … Read More
Bay Area resident Larry Wilson is to be publicly stoned to death by a mob of angry music fans for expressing a less than glowing opinion of the band Radiohead.
“I don’t know, they’re cool I guess,” stated Wilson, “I’m … Read More
Whomever it May Concern:
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “I, George Washington Carver, didn’t commit suicide.” Well I did. Life is full of surprises.
I decided to end my life because I foresaw being known as “the Peanut Guy,” … Read More
A community has plunged deep into the despairing nether-regions of its soul today as word spread about the death of seventeen year old Albany resident Ravyn Glyttr, who took her own life yesterday in what police are calling a failed … Read More
President George W. Bush has announced that he plans to send American astronauts to “the most biggest planet of them all: the Sun.” This attempted launch, which could occur as soon as 2028, has absorbed consistent criticism from Congressional Democrats, … Read More