Ode to Inoffensive Humor

So two men walk into a bar, one guy is Jewish, and the other guy is Palestinian. The Jewish man turns to the Palestinian and offers him a drink. The Palestinian agrees and offers to then buy the Jewish man one in return. Two hours later they finish their third pint and go home.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all sitting on a bench. A good-looking black man goes up to the group of girls. He looks at the redhead and says, “Did you know you have beautiful eyes?” She blushes. He then turns to the brunette and says, “You are sexy!” She blushes. Then he turns to the blonde and says, “Your eyes are sexy.” She blushes. Then they all blush. The black man blushes in response and then walks away.

You know what I hate about those fucking Asians? Nothing! And don’t get me started on the Mexicans, ’cause if you do I’ll be praising their virtues all night.

Why is pavement black? What’s the fucking deal?

I put crackers in my soup, Damn crackers! They taste so good when soaked in clam chowder.

Q: What happens when a Jewish guy with an erection walks into a wall?
A: He breaks his nose… said Hitler, who was entirely evil.

Q: What do you call 100,000 Muslims at the bottom of the sea?
A: A massive genocidal tragedy! Why oh why must such evil exist in the world?

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the pool?
A: Robert!

Q: George Bush, the Pope, and an 8-year-old boy are all trapped on a desert island and there are only two life-rafts! What do they do?
A: They all share one raft and leave behind the other one just in case someone else gets stranded. Who would’ve thought they’d all fit in one raft? Cooperation rocks!