Officials close to President Bush report that his closest advisor, a mystical Ouija Board, has once again pointed to Yes. This is reportedly the 39th straight time the Ouija Board has pointed to Yes.
“Oh, oh, I think it’s going to Yes!” Bush reportedly said. “It went to Yes! Get Brazil on the line. Actually, don’t. It’ll be funnier as a surprise.”
President Bush has grown close to the Ouija Board in recent years, counting it among his closest advisors. Bush alone uses the Ouija Board, after National Security Advisor Condoleeza Rice was accused of “trying to move it” over the question of steel tariffs. Democrats probably complained about the use of the Ouija Board.