On Monday morning, the National Stacy Association (NSA) released a formal statement denouncing critically lauded pop group Fountains of Wayne for “gross recklessness and utter lack of consideration.”
“As America’s largest lobby of girls named Stacy, we knew we had to take this on,” said NSA president Stacy Chen. “Fountains of Wayne knew that this song, with its bouncy guitar hooks, catchy chorus, and 3-minute-18-second running time, would become a massive hit. This is about responsibility.”
“Do you know how many guys have asked me if my mom got back from her business trip?” added tearful NSA secretary Stacy Thompson. “Jesus.”
Reached for comment, Fountains of Wayne lead singer Chris Collingwood asked Thompson whether she remembered when he mowed her lawn (mowed her lawn) and her mom came out with just a towel o-o-o-o-on (towel on).