- I Am Toucan Sam
- Creamer vs. Creamer
Author Archives: The Squelch
Top Ten Euphemisms for Anal Leakage
- S’mears
- Trickle-down Fecalnomics
- Runny Butt
- Shits Lite!
- Hershey’s Wet Kisses
- A Visit from Uncle Flowseph
- Anal Seepage
- Guatemalan Water Torture
- Bizarro Period
- Dressing the Salad
Top Ten Reasons to Escape
- Ctrl-Alt-Del not working
- Town’s just one long dead-end drive since the factory closed down, so maybe it’s time to pack up your lucky hat and suitcase full of dreams and hit the road like the young guys says they should,
Cosmetic Surgery for Animals
It is apparent that our society is becoming increasingly sexualized. From Lindsay Lohan’s big-ass titties to Donald Rumsfeld’s vagina tightening, male and female sexuality are being pushed to the limits through the wonders of cosmetic surgery. The pressure to look … Read More
Top Ten Diseased Celebrities
- Lou Gehrig
- Leon Powelio
- Yo-Yo Ma-laria
- Gangrenous Khan
- Peter SARSgard
- Ray RaMono
- Dysenteri Hatcher
- Gonorrhea Perlman
- Scarlet Fever Johansson
- Margaret Cholera
Almost Straight Man Drives Silver Jetta
The sexual orientation of handsomely disheveled res-comp worker Tom Marcus was called into question this Christmas when he was given a silver Volkswagen Jetta by his parents.
“It’s a really nice car,” said longtime friend Cassie Cho. “Yeah! If I … Read More
Girl Falls for Best Friend
In a shocking turn of events, Kelly Harrison, a beautiful psychology major, has fallen for Tim Macy, her best friend, her ballroom dancing partner, and a member of the crew team. For years, Macy had feelings for Harrison, who he … Read More
3 Dead, 12 Wounded After Bear Wanders Into Furry Convention
The San Jose Airport Hilton was the scene of a tragedy Thursday, as fifteen people were attacked by a wayward bear. The Alaskan Kodiak, escaped from a nearby zoo, became enraged when numerous “furry” fetishists tried to have sex with … Read More
Make Your Own Action Movie
The Briefing
Government Official: (gravely) I assume you all know why you’ve been called in here today. We’ve got three hours/seven days to diffuse this atomic/biological warhead planted by the notorious global corporation/ syndicate globotron/corp. I know you’re all just … Read More
Massage Therapists Take Legal Action
The “Massage Therapists” Union made “head lines” this week by heavily publicizing its “legal action.” While the specific details of this “legal action” remain unclear, union spokesperson Angelina Silk described it as including anything from “physical evidence” and “oral arguments” … Read More
