Features
- Words From The Top
 - If Relationships Ended Like 8-Bit Videogames
 - Getting Away With It
 - Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Christmas
 - How Drunk Were You?
 - To All Incoming UC Extension Students
 - What If George Lucas Wrote Shakespeare
 - Douglas Unger’s Roommate Questionnaire
 - Satan Comes to Berkeley
 - The Secret Diary of Margot Frank
 
Newsflashes
- Minorities Underrepresented in Area Porn Collection
 - Sasquath Found Inside Chewbacca Costume
 - Wine Enthusiast Not Impressed with Eucharist
 - Thom Yorke Gives Birth to Litter of Ferrets
 - Wonka Actually Tyrannical Despot