- It’s cold. And you’re a child molester
- When you were five a razor killed your father
- Pink chin the pirate sounds too pussy
- President of the female Viking student association
- President of the Viking student association
- Rogaine addiction
- Your name
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- Identical twin failed to shave goatee
- Turns out bank has no wheelchair ramp
- Hot air balloon escape not as practical as you thought for nail gun factory heist
- Flying a plane is actually really hard
- Pirates are late. AGAIN
- Your
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- Cinnamon Toast Christ
- Let He Who is Without Sin Cast the First Fruity Pebble
- Life … begins at conception
- Safeway Generic Brand Moses Bits
- Corn Popes
- Smart Start is Bible School
- Count Chocula Does Not Exist
- Total Exorcism
- Honey Bunches
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- The reader is all Cesar Chavez
- Responds poorly to your racist humor
- Hired him at a home depot parking lot
- Runs across Telegraph with entire family in tow
- Doesn’t have tenure
- Got his PHD in dry walling
- Smiles politely and
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- Holocausts you a fortune
- Strippers are Jewish women
- You didn’t go for a couple of weeks and now every time you go back they ask how come you never visit
- Stripper’s name is Crystal Nacht
- You’re OPEC and you don’t
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- Your Cal sweatshirt is dirty
- Because you wear a stylish blouse, miniskirt, and heels to bed every night
- Zipper stuck on onesie
- Your bookie accepts laundry as currency
- Out of tampons
- Show me someone who can get through fifty minutes
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- World’s second best pesto
- Training for being upcoming contestant in who wants to be a millionaire
- 500k for Elisha Cuthbert blowjob; 500k for guy to knock her teeth out before hand
- Paying two dogs to fall in love
- Two nights
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- Can’t kill you unless he’s had a few beers first
- Won’t say I love you back
- Always kills you with his eyes closed
- Business card trademark not as cool or complicated as old blood of fifty orphans spread across a
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- These “Kiss Me I’m a Leper” shirts don’t work very well at all
- INDIAN BURN!
- Is that a banana in your sock or are you just glad to see me?
- Wow, I’ve already lost 140 pounds on this diet
- I
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- Paraplegic midget actually black slang for really talented Basketball player
- He was on steroids … for his asthma
- He only became paraplegic midget at half-time
- His canine companion was Air Bud
- He had more heart … and more lung because
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