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Wait…yours or mine?
Coat it with honey to create “Pubic Hair of Bees”
String tiny violins
Walk to Casa Zimbabwe, deposit in shower drain
Put it in a conspicuous place and use it as the basis for a bad pick-up … Read More
Choking the fire-breathing dragon
Polishing the helmet
Rubbing the Franciscan monk’s bald head
Grooming the one-eyed horse
Knighting yourself
Wielding the longsword
Erecting a steeple for the cathedral
Buttering the toast around the Round Table
Draining the moat
Evacuating the … Read More
Dee-lite’s “Groove is in the Heart”
Ben and Jerry’s
Water
Music
Firemen
Dr. Seuss
Twix Bars
Babies
Sunsets
The Princess Bride
… Read More
Mini-Disneyland with mini-California Adventure
It’s a Regulated Market After All
Pirates of Hollywood Avenue
Hall of Incompetent Governors from Reagen to Davis
Sweater Vest Mountain
Bakersfield Klansmen Jamboree
The Disney Store
Japanese Tourist Land
Dotcom Six-story Drop
Juan y Pablo’s … Read More
Only dustbust really dangerous dirt
Turn off heater, begin sleeping in oven
Let Grandpa die with dignity
Only wash car when you have a full load
Shave balls with disposable razor
Unplug yourself, if you’re an appliance or robot
Rapidly … Read More
Try in vain to do anything whatsoever, batting it hopelessly with his tiny paws, while his patronizing human masters fawn over him.
Sell it; buy tuna fish with profits
Break it in half, because he knows karate
Poop on it … Read More
Above me
In the GBC, for only two swipes
Cloyne Court, if you’ve got herpes
In Chancellor’s jowls
In the butt
QC174.45.M444 – QC654.14.T373
In Hoku Jeffrey’s hair
Wherever she passes out
122 Wheeler (wink, wink)
Underneath me
… Read More
Trivial Pursuit of Peace
Tetherisraeli
RISK
Hide and Go Sheik
Gaza strip poker
Skipping rocks off Israeli police officers
Capture the flag and then burn it
Hopscotch over your bleeding classmates
Arafat-Barak 1-On-1 Half Court Challenge
Paper, rock, tank
… Read More
Scare people straight
Frown
Stand on the edge of very high objects and yell “I didn’t kill my wife”
Either get busy livin’, or get busy dyin’
Appeal
Behave, get paroled, and then kill again to make up for 25 … Read More
All the cool kids shop at T.J. Maxx
There’s plenty of oxygen in the trunk
Officer, he fell down the stairs
This is the only way to take your temperature
We love both of you equally
It’s not your fault … Read More
