Top Ten Ways to Conserve Energy

  1. Only dustbust really dangerous dirt
  2. Turn off heater, begin sleeping in oven
  3. Let Grandpa die with dignity
  4. Only wash car when you have a full load
  5. Shave balls with disposable razor
  6. Unplug yourself, if you’re an appliance or robot
  7. Rapidly flip lights on and off, so that they’re off half the time
  8. Pump CO directly into car instead of letting gas fill garage
  9. Physically visit server locations for web browsing
  10. Shake vibrator and make humming sound