Top Ten Medieval Euphemisms For Masturbation

  1. Choking the fire-breathing dragon
  2. Polishing the helmet
  3. Rubbing the Franciscan monk’s bald head
  4. Grooming the one-eyed horse
  5. Knighting yourself
  6. Wielding the longsword
  7. Erecting a steeple for the cathedral
  8. Buttering the toast around the Round Table
  9. Draining the moat
  10. Evacuating the castle