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top ten | The Heuristic Squelch

Tag Archives: top ten

Top Ten Comebacks

  1. “Don’t make me get out of this wheelchair.”
  2. “I may be drunk, but you’re ugly, and in the morning I’ll be dead of alcohol poisoning.”
  3. “Aw gee, you’re right.” [jumps off ledge (of Evans)]
  4. “Well of course it’s small compared
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Top Ten Improved Names for the Tailbone

  1. Crystal SpriteGA$A3
  2. “Oh yeah, she’s definitely fucking bulemic.”
  3. Tailbone Jackson
  4. Fortitude
  5. <nobr>Buttfuck<wbr>logistics<wbr>probleminator</nobr>
  6. Neglecto
  7. We Used to Have Fucking Tails It’s Not Butter!
  8. Sony #TZX456
  9. <nobr>Onlyrealize<wbr>itexists<wbr>afterfirstday<wbr>snowboarding<wbr>bone</nobr>
  10. Dollywhomppper2K2
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Top Ten Things Seldom Written in Braille

  1. “Congratulations on your purchase of a Smith & Wesson”
  2. “Choose Bob’s Driving School!”
  3. “The Squelch is a sensitive magazine”
  4. “Welcome to Metropolitan Museum of Art…Sorry!”
  5. “Your Guide to Sign Language”
  6. “Do Not Touch”
  7. “Your Guide to Reading Braille”
  8. “To properly
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