Top Ten Reasons the Sex We Just Had Was Dirty

  1. I wanted to go in, but the placenta wanted to come out

  2. Because my mother told me so

  3. Two people, five hands
  4. So much dirt was involved
  5. First condom breaking, fine; fifth condom breaking, weird
  6. Because you’re not going to confession afterwards
  7. You wanted workplace fantasy and I’m a garbage man
  8. Donkeys never bathe
  9. I’m an incontinent necrophiliac
  10. You don’t think the sex cleans itself, do you?