In an earth-shatteringly original move, aspiring cartoonist Jeff Kline announced today that he intends to create a new comic strip focusing on the adventures of a lovable dog named Spotsworth. “I think “Spotsworth” will be a real breakthrough,” said Kline. … Read More
Tag Archives: newsflash
EECS Nude Protest Fails to Arouse Excitement, Anyone
Although intended as a highly provocative show of support for the Net Neutrality Act, a nude protest staged this week by hundreds of EECS majors failed to garner the attention of the Berkeley student body.
“Mario Savio must be rolling … Read More
Primary Schools Hit Hard by Extra-Credit Crunch
The unprecedented meltdown in the U.S. sub-prime housing market has rattled Wall Street, sent interest rates soaring, and made the procurement of cheap and easy loans a thing of the past. But the ramifications of the so-called “credit crunch” extend … Read More
Federal Trade Commission Starts, End Google Anti-trust Suit
WASHINGTON, D.C. (DS) – On the cusp of Google’s planned buyout of DoubleClick, the online advertising industry’s leading ad-seller, the Federal Trade Commission has both opened and closed its antitrust suit directed at the world’s top search engine.
“As Google … Read More
Alan Greenspan Pretty Sure New Best Friend is Actually CNN Obituary Writer
VIRGINIA (DS) – Former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan has recently been seen visiting various parks, zoos, and other relaxing locations with a new best friend. But the 81-year-old’s joy at finding a new chum has been marred by suspicion … Read More
Bratz ARG Nears Finale
Hundreds of thousands of teenage girls descended on a remote area of Saskatchewan on Tuesday, in preparation for the finale of the popular, complex Alternate Reality Game promoting the movie “Bratz.”
The ARG began over six months ago, when the … Read More
“Hyphy Movement” Meets Hyphy Resistance, Thousands Dead
The infectious spread of a popular Bay Area-based hip-hop genre, known as the Hyphy Movement, escalated to a bloody climax yesterday, as tensions between extremist Pro-Hyphy Reformers and Purist Anti-Hyphy Resistance erupted in brutal combat. Surviving eye witnesses report that … Read More
Fat, Black, Female Priest Actually Martin Lawrence Trying to Steal a Diamond
The sleepy bayside community of Elk Hollow was rocked recently when their local priest, working under the alias of Katherine O’Malley, turned out to be Martin Lawrence in a fat suit. Lawrence took over the parish at Elk Hollow’s Church … Read More
Romania to Name Dragon National Bird
In a shortsighted and very curious attempt to increase tourism, the nation of Romania yesterday voted to proclaim the dragon as their new national bird. “The great nation of Romania has long been at the forefront of world dragon conservation, … Read More
Lieberman Announces Gray Horse Candidacy
Senator Joseph Lieberman of Connecticut recently told reporters he sees himself as a gray horse candidate in the upcoming 2008 election. “I mean, I wouldn’t be shocked if I won,” Lieberman said. “I guess I wouldn’t bet on it though.”… Read More
