Although intended as a highly provocative show of support for the Net Neutrality Act, a nude protest staged this week by hundreds of EECS majors failed to garner the attention of the Berkeley student body.
“Mario Savio must be rolling in his grave,” said third-year nude protester Geoffrey Hsu, in an acne-ridden statement from just outside California Hall. “People don’t realize that Net Neutrality isn’t just an issue for electrical engineers: it’s an issue for chemical and mechanical engineers too.”
Stirred by their companion’s brave message of unity, Shu’s fellow protesters shouted their approval and leaped into the air, causing their dicks to spin in unison like so many silent wind chimes.
In a carefully worded and fully clothed press statement earlier this morning, Birgeneau expressed guarded, cautiously worded support for the message of the protesters.
“Let’s fund the shit out of this protest,” Birgeneau was quoted as saying. “Anything that helps me illegally download Entourage episodes is fine by me.”
