**Economics
**
Professor: Who here can tell me the market value of this broken fiddle?
Student: (raising hand) Three to five baubles, or two and a half to four trinkets, depending on exchange rates.
Professor: Correct, assuming that supply … Read More
Gatorade, the greatest sports drink ever drunk, was developed by the University of Florida in order to provide something to say about the University of Florida during lulls in conversation. Since that time, Gatorade has refused to rest on its … Read More
Congratulations on graduating, and welcome to the exciting world of adulthood. The following reviews are meant to help you, the idiot, choose your future wisely.
Graduate School
Because life doesn’t begin at conception, it begins at 29!
Synopsis: Remember when … Read More
The upcoming presidential campaign will change everyone’s perceptions about just what kind of white Christian male we will let lead our country. What kind of questions should we be asking about this new breed of politician?
Candidate: Hillary Clinton… Read More
If you’re like me, you’re having sex RIGHT NOW. Oh but you’re not, loser. Unlike you, whose penis is probably well-pantsed, I’m what you might call a “pickup artist.”
But, you ask, what’s a pickup artist? A pickup artist is … Read More
With Halloween just around the corner, I’m sure all of you readers out there have been feverishly designing terrible costumes. Ooh, you’re going as Harry Potter! Ever get drafty in your house made of originality? Oh, man, one of those … Read More
After years of grubbing for funds, UC-Berkeley’s physics department is finally given a grant to build the world’s first functioning time machine. A prototype is built, a list of pre-modern broads to have sex with is written up, and in … Read More
Hail and well met, bro! As a young gentleman newly arrived at manhood, thou hast undoubtedly asked thyself, “How may I conduct myself with honor and dignity, all the while consorting with beauteous wenches and smiting mine enemies?” Of course … Read More
If there’s one thing that open-minded and culturally aware people like me can’t stand, it’s Belgians. One of those waffle-munching fuckers was my roommate for a semester while he studied at Berkeley. Using his charmingly broken English and exotic European … Read More
God is a lot like an invisible friend who happens to be a huge asshole.Whenever you need Him to stop the rampages of a Joseph Stalin or an Idi Amin He’s AWOL, but whenever there are several thousand shit-poor Peruvians … Read More
