In a small office on the 42nd floor of the Chrysler Building,
a paper clip standing 3 feet 7 inches walks in. He has two round googly eyes
and floating eyebrows. He’s walking on a piece of magical floating paper.… Read More
Tag Archives: feature
Road Trip? …More like RAD trip!
I couldn’t believe it when my friend Josh told me that a greedy developer
had bought his parents’ shopping center and was about to tear it down
to build lavish new low-income housing. We needed to raise a bunch of … Read More
Minor Hells
Everyone knows that Gluttons are torn apart by ‘Cerberus’s bloody
teeth,’ and the Violent boil in a River of Blood while being stabbed
by centaurs. But what is Hell for the Barely Evil? Like people who think
about putting in … Read More
Words from the Top
All Hail Team Male
Waking up in the morning to the sturm und drang of my own testicular power, I’m invigorated by a sense of belonging, the joy of being a part of a group. But not an ordinary group of friends with insignficant … Read More
An Interview with Britney Spears!!!!
Heuristic Squelch: Hello, Britney Spears.
Britney Spears: Hello, Squelch interviewer man.
HS: What would you like to talk about today?
BS: Well, I guess the main thing I’d like to talk about is how much I’d like to have sex … Read More
UC Berkeley: Back in Time
Sometimes on the UC Berkeley campus it is tough to go ten feet without a Palestinian or Israeli trying to get your attention, crawl down your ear, and eat the tasty nutmeats within. With all the activism on campus, you’d … Read More
Lottery Winning on Tuesday
Everyone’s a Winner
Well, the weather is picking up lately. It’s hot outside and hotter still inside. The sweet spring air makes me want to grab someone special, head for the local 7-Eleven and win the lottery all day long. Of course, after … Read More
My Cell Phone is Cooler Than You
So you think you’re pretty chic with your nicely pressed shirt, cyclopto-strapped backpack and Supercut. You’ve got your friends, your style, your “popularity.” But let me let you in on a little secret, my friend: my cell phone is cooler … Read More
Punctuation Guide
One exclamation point indicates seriousness, excitement, and urgency. Two exclamation points indicate sarcastic seriousness, mock excitement, or an ironic lack of urgency. Use three exclamation points and you’ve reached a level of grammatical hysteria usually reserved for naive children’s letters … Read More
Dear Fellow Activist,
I had always considered myself an ethical human being, the sort that when faced with a dilemma would find the most responsible solution to the problem. However, not until April 11, 2002, did I discover the errors of my ways, … Read More
