Your mother’s dead. Sorry, I didn’t mean to just blurt it out like that. Regardless, here are some tips for giving bad news so that next time her death won’t be such a buzz-kill.
_Tip #1:
Make it into a … Read More
Tag Archives: feature
Last Words of Old People
“In these last moments, I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to be surrounded by my family. Except for Linda. Linda’s adopted.”
“Never miss a sunset. Take at least two vacations a year. Always send thank-you notes. I … Read More
Words From the Top
Berkeley Speaks Out
“There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can’t take part; you can’t even passively take part, and you’ve got to put your bodies upon the gears … Read More
Justice League Cybersex
UnderTheSea : Hot4Tuna69 – Instant Message
Hot4Tuna69: hi 😉
UndrTheSea: Hi! a/s/l?
Hot4Tuna69: 18/f/metropolis 😉 u?
UndrTheSea: Um, kind of complicated, but I’m a young guy in Metropolis too! Have a pic?
Hot4Tuna69: sure here u go 🙂
UndrTheSea: Holy … Read More
KJNK 104.2 FM
For Junkies, By Junkies
The Morning Show, with hosts Johnny Five and the Crazy Horse
Host: Hey, welcome to the morning show. Time right now is 6:32 pm.
Crazy Horse: They call me the Crazy Horse because I’m crazy about… wait, what?
Host: [… Read More
How I Met My Identical Twin Brother
Most people think that finding a long lost twin would be really cool. But then again most people are complete fucking idiots. Case in point, Mormons.
At My Doorstep
Me: [opens door] Oh my God! You…you look just … Read More
Being a Rich Student Isn’t all that Easy
College students are poor…unless you’re me, then you’re really fucking rich. As a student, I too have to deal with problems, but I cope with them in a different, much wealthier way.
Purchasing Textbooks
You: I stayed up all last … Read More
Which Is More Useful: A Female vs. a 16th Century Map
We’ve all heard the old Bible verse: “Women are about as useful as a sixteenth-century map.” Let’s use science to figure out which one is better.
Map: When used with a sextet, could roughly predict direction for ships to sail … Read More
From the Notebook of Ben Hoffman, Child Anthropologist
Observations. Day 10, Friday
From my outpost in the treehouse above Sandbox 4
The Swing Incident
Timmy claimed that he had counted to thirty, but Bobby knew otherwise. Timmy hadn’t separated his numbers according to the schoolyard’s established precedent. So … Read More
Are You There, Mega-Vibe 6000?
It’s Me, Margaret…
_First Date _
Margaret: …then he said he could never marry me. I guess I’ve been afraid of a serious relationship ever since.
Mega: Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz.
Margaret: Ohh thank you. You’re right, I do deserve better.
Mega: Bzzzz.
Margaret: I’ve … Read More
