“There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can’t take part; you can’t even passively take part, and you’ve got to put your bodies upon the gears … Read More
Tag Archives: feature
Justice League Cybersex
UnderTheSea : Hot4Tuna69 – Instant Message
Hot4Tuna69: hi 😉
UndrTheSea: Hi! a/s/l?
Hot4Tuna69: 18/f/metropolis 😉 u?
UndrTheSea: Um, kind of complicated, but I’m a young guy in Metropolis too! Have a pic?
Hot4Tuna69: sure here u go 🙂
UndrTheSea: Holy … Read More
KJNK 104.2 FM
For Junkies, By Junkies
The Morning Show, with hosts Johnny Five and the Crazy Horse
Host: Hey, welcome to the morning show. Time right now is 6:32 pm.
Crazy Horse: They call me the Crazy Horse because I’m crazy about… wait, what?
Host: [… Read More
How I Met My Identical Twin Brother
Most people think that finding a long lost twin would be really cool. But then again most people are complete fucking idiots. Case in point, Mormons.
At My Doorstep
Me: [opens door] Oh my God! You…you look just … Read More
Being a Rich Student Isn’t all that Easy
College students are poor…unless you’re me, then you’re really fucking rich. As a student, I too have to deal with problems, but I cope with them in a different, much wealthier way.
Purchasing Textbooks
You: I stayed up all last … Read More
Which Is More Useful: A Female vs. a 16th Century Map
We’ve all heard the old Bible verse: “Women are about as useful as a sixteenth-century map.” Let’s use science to figure out which one is better.
Map: When used with a sextet, could roughly predict direction for ships to sail … Read More
From the Notebook of Ben Hoffman, Child Anthropologist
Observations. Day 10, Friday
From my outpost in the treehouse above Sandbox 4
The Swing Incident
Timmy claimed that he had counted to thirty, but Bobby knew otherwise. Timmy hadn’t separated his numbers according to the schoolyard’s established precedent. So … Read More
The Many Lives of That Douche
Everyone who’s taken a humanities class knows That Douche. He’s the budding Rousseau in the front row who raises his hand in lecture to spout delightfully insipid pseudo-intellectual drivel. He’s so vociferous with his impromptu philosophizing that we all recognize … Read More
Silver Lining Those Clouds of Death
Your mother’s dead. Sorry, I didn’t mean to just blurt it out like that. Regardless, here are some tips for giving bad news so that next time her death won’t be such a buzz-kill.
_Tip #1:
Make it into a … Read More
Trial Transcripts from the ADD Court Stenographer
Q. Did you see someone leave Ms. Sakamura’s apartment on the night in question?
A. Yes.
Q. And were you able to identify this person?
A. Yes.
Q. How?
A. I recognized his something something corduroy something.
Q. Was there … Read More
