Local vagrant Patches Wilkinson was declared a historic landmark by the Berkeley City Council last night. “For the past twenty four years, Mr. Wilkinson has brightened the corner of Dwight and Dana with his presence, and provided much-needed diversity to … Read More
Tag Archives: John Jackson Waste
Popular Children’s Books Recalled
On Tuesday, scientists at Lawrence Berkeley Labs disproved the popular preexisting theory that everbody poops. The discovery was made after scientists spent two years observing test subject Ken Johnson. Johnson, a 20-year-old male from El Cerrito, has yet to poop. … Read More
The Many Lives of That Douche
Everyone who’s taken a humanities class knows That Douche. He’s the budding Rousseau in the front row who raises his hand in lecture to spout delightfully insipid pseudo-intellectual drivel. He’s so vociferous with his impromptu philosophizing that we all recognize … Read More
US Troops Unaware of Facebook Support
Despite boasting 96 members, the UCB Facebook group “Support Our Troops” has had little to no discernible effect on the morale of US troops stationed in Iraq. When asked how the support from Berkeley Facebook members was aiding in the … Read More
