Flex Plan Bodybuilder Henry James, of Bowflex commercial fame, recently admitted to friends and family that his workout regiment, which maintains remarkably stiff quads, bulging pecs, and tantalizing abs, rarely includes 20 to 30 minutes on… Read More
10:10pm. I was bored, so I left Apartment DISH and walked down Telegraph in search of cheap food. Outside Rasputin, slamming himself chest-first into the store window, was a homeless guy carrying a 6′ wide sign. I walked by, … Read More
A needle was misplaced in a haystack earlier this week, setting the stage for a task which many liken to a very difficult thing to do.
“Yup. It’s lost in there and finding it is going to be like trying … Read More
Prince Adam, also known as “He-Man,” was arrested Saturday at a club in Eternia for indecent exposure and disturbing the peace.
“I don’t care if he is the protector of Greyskull or whatever he was… Read More
God be praised. This week my twelve-year love affair with underarm deodorant came perilously close to dissolving forever. Fortunately for myself and anyone who will ever come within a fourteen-foot radius of my being, I was saved… Read More
Though it affects millions of Americans, colorblindness is given short shrift by the mainstream “differently-abled” population. As many of you surely don’t know, colorblindness is a recessive trait that is much more common in men, … Read More
Thanks for reading the Squelch, and remember to pick up a copy of Shrek, now available everywhere on video and DVD. Like bacon cheeseburgers? You’ll also want a delicious copy of Shrek, available on the way home … Read More
Berkeley resident and UC student Gil Hendricks returned last week from winter break to his apartment which, for unknown reasons, sort of smells vaguely like gas.
“I don’t know. Do you smell that?” Hendricks asked companions… Read More
An audible murmur passed through the audience at a recent screening of The Lord of the Rings when all four hundred moviegoers simultaneously realized that Hugo Weaving, playing Elrond in the fantasy screen adaptation, is the guy who … Read More
My teeth were clamped down in the midst of a large bowel movement when the idea came to me. No longer will people stare into the bleak polished door of the dormitory stall without a source of … Read More
