He-Man Arrested For Indecent Exposure

Prince Adam, also known as “He-Man,” was arrested Saturday at a club in Eternia for indecent exposure and disturbing the peace.

“I don’t care if he is the protector of Greyskull or whatever he was talking about, no one is allowed to come into my club wearing a naugahide bikini brief,” said Jim Schwartz, owner of the Temple of the Sun nightclub. “Sure, we get some pretty crazy kids in here, but most of them comply with the dress code.”

Schwartz tried to have bouncers turn He-Man and his friends away, but He-Man, frustrated and anxious after a long day of fighting evil, started shouting and brandishing his sword. He-Man’s outfit was made up of a bearskin loincloth and a vest of leather straps and armor-like chains. When bouncers tried again to turn him away, He-Man unsheathed his Sword of Power and demanded entrance.

He-Man claims that he was never out for trouble. He insists that he and his party crew were out for a fun night on the town, celebrating after foiling one of Skeletor’s evil plots. They had nothing but dancing and partying on their minds.

“I can’t help the outfit, it’s what the powers of Greyskull make me wear,” said He-Man. “You think I like dressing in this all the time?”

He-Man’s friends Man-at-Arms and Orko were also outraged at the proprietor’s actions. “Sure, it doesn’t make sense, but [the loincloth] is the standard evil-fighting uniform,” Man-at-Arms commented. “Are you trying to say that because we fight evil we should be ostracized? God, if anything, it should give us special circumstances.”