Last week saw a drastic turn of events in the tenuous Iraqi situation. Iraqi President Saddam Hussein announced last Thursday that Iraq will begin to impose economic sanctions on what he described as the “Fulcrum of Evil.” In a… Read More
While Disney tries to hide phallic symbols in the back of its cutesy animated features, no one needs to slow down the tape to realize that the Disney princesses are really fucking hot. Think about it: what turns us … Read More
The Alanis Morissette song “Ironic” finally achieved the twenty third level of recursive meta-irony this week when local grad student Josh Greenberg purchased the song after a discussion with his thesis advisor. While Greenberg’s decision… Read More
Millenia of evolution were overcome on Tuesday, when Sophomore Matt Bausch’s usually pointless male nipples produced a drop of milk. The drop of milk, high in calcium and undoubtedly nourishing to a newborn child, squeezed forth during a… Read More
Are you ready for the 105th Big Game? Are you prepared to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the GREATEST PLAY in the history of college football? Nay, the greatest MOMENT in the history of the WORLD? As… Read More
Parent and child alike will glean endless hours of fun the SquelchCo way with this fully guaranteed glow-in-the-dark enema kit. Power outages and spooky Halloween sleepovers have never before been this exciting (or this purifying).… Read More
In a stunning move that senior White House correspondent James Wellton could only describe as “stunning,” the Bush administration turned to the “dredges of the earth” to help stimulate the lackluster economy of recent months.
“I ask you, … Read More
Yeah, ’cause that’s really fucking cool. Oh wow. Bubbles. Wow. Never seen that before. Whoop-dee-freakin’-doo.… Read More
A lot of people think it would be cool to be able to change into a sports car whenever they get hot, and back into a human whenever they get cold, but I’m here to tell you, it’s no picnic. … Read More
113-year old John McMorran lives a quiet life, having long since lost the powers of sight and hearing, as well as being bedridden since the age of 100. McMorran spends his days in a world of unfathomable boredom, … Read More
