Author Archives: The Squelch

Top Ten Worst Suicide Attempts

  1. Moving OUT of New Orleans
  2. Sticking head in easy bake oven
  3. Throwing self in front of inactive volcano
  4. Hanging self with bungee cord
  5. Killing someone else
  6. Slitting wrists w/ electric razor
  7. Jumping off large building onto less large building
  8. OD
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O Canada!

As a Canadian living in America, I have come to realize that you guys know next to nothing about your neighbors to the north, nor do you express any desire to know us. What, you think you’re better than us … Read More

Zagat Survey 2005

Drug Dealers

LC
Palazzo Apartments, #205. El Cerrito
Satisfied regulars describe LC’s weed as “dank” and “where are my keys.” Service is “butt-slow,” however; calling an hour ahead is recommended “so he can wake up and answer the door.” Also, closed from … Read More