I cannot say that Jim was my best friend.
I cannot even say that Jim was my close friend. Jim was my roommate, and my roommate only, and it’s true what they say: you don’t really miss something until it’s … Read More
I cannot say that Jim was my best friend.
I cannot even say that Jim was my close friend. Jim was my roommate, and my roommate only, and it’s true what they say: you don’t really miss something until it’s … Read More
Don’t have a seat, Eric. I’ll get right to the point.
I built this company with my bare hands. I woke up at four AM for 60 years and never once took a vacation. Now I admit, I didn’t come … Read More
Those of the Jewish faith refer to themselves as the Chosen People. This is wrong. God never picked anyone as Chosen, and only through a series of hilarious mix-ups did the Jews ever come to this incorrect conclusion.
****** … Read More
In a shortsighted and very curious attempt to increase tourism, the nation of Romania yesterday voted to proclaim the dragon as their new national bird. “The great nation of Romania has long been at the forefront of world dragon conservation, … Read More
[Jerry and George exit the CTU locker room]
Jerry : Sweatpants? You’re wearing sweatpants to a bomb defusing?
George : What, there’s something wrong with sweatpants?
Jerry : No, not at all, assuming you’re New Jersey SWAT.
George… Read More
Slowly and sexily the Lady Winderboddom unscrewed her bra straps one by one. With each violent burst of elastic, Hawthorne was one step closer to everything he’d dreamed about so messily the night before.
Her hands teasingly clasped her own … Read More
March 4, 1187 AD
Today one of my more talkative concubines suggested that I should get a girlfriend. A girlfriend, she said, is a lot like a concubine, except you can’t have sex with other more attractive concubines, and that, … Read More
a. Fresh, stylish, and clean-cut.
b. Casual, scruffy, disheveled.
c. Easily mistaken for a floating log.
a. Send you a love note just … Read More
Villainous Disney Stepmother **
_Cruella De Mommus _
**Description : Tall, bony, and overdressed, possibly with an upturned nose.
Where she met your dad : Real mother’s funeral.
Method of Wooing : Icy glare and/or magic spells.
For Your Birthday… Read More
CIRCLE OR STAIN THE CORRECT ANSWER YOU MUST PASS WITH AN 85% TO OBTAIN CLASS 1 LICENSE
Health & Safety Section (2 Questions)
… Read MoreA. Perform the Heimlich
B. Call 911