_Day 1 _
Ebert : Hello everyone, and welcome back to Ebert and Roeper at the movies. Due to some of my unfortunate statements regarding the Americans with Disabilities Act, the court has ordered someone new to join us. So please welcome Blind Guy to the balcony.
Blind Guy : Hi!
Ebert : Well, let’s get right to it with our review of Mission: Impossible with Tom Cruise.
Roeper : Wow, what a blockbuster. This is the epitome of the summer movie.
Blind Guy : I don’t know. I was pretty confused.
Ebert : What do you mean? I thought it held together pretty well.
Blind Guy : Well, like that whole bit at the end where Tom Cruise kept asking if he should cut the red wire or the blue wire, and then suddenly everything’s fine. I mean, what was up with that?
Roeper : He cut the red wire.
Blind Guy : What’s red?
_Day 2 _
Blind Guy : In fact, I thought every aspect of this film was deplorable, from the weak musical score to the sickening stench of tobacco. I give this film one big thumb down.
Cigar Shop Owner : Who the hell are you?
Roeper : I have to say this is probably the best art house feature I’ve seen all year.
Ebert : I couldn’t disagree more. This was an obvious cash-in attempt by the studio to latch onto the artsy crowd and hopefully get a nomination in the process.
Roeper : Wow, Roger, you have just become too jaded by the film industry. I applaud the studio for releasing the film in black and white.
Blind Guy : Yeah, my dog loved it.