- Flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong
- Waiting for Godot
- A Street Punk Named Desire
- Venetian Merchant
- Security Monitor
- Karamazov brother
- The Last Mohican
- Dead Salesman
- Men
- Mice
- Translating at the English Embassy
- Au
Author Archives: The Squelch
Top Twelve E-Mail Subject Headings
- Russian Brides for Pennies on the Dollar
- Re: Dundant Top Ten
- Re: efer
- Re: Gis and Kathy Lee
- Re: bar
- Re: turn of the Jedi
- Re: Me Fa So La Tee Doe
- Re: straining order
- Re: eeecola
- Re: Re: <FWD>
Top Fourteen New Oscar Categories
- Biggest Bomb with SNL Cast Member
- Best Prosthetic Penis
- Kevin Bacon Lifetime Achievement Award
- Biggest Kevin Costner Failure
- Best Samuel L. Bronkowitz Production
- Most Predictable Ending
- Best Disney Perversion of a Classic Fairy Tale or Historical Event
- Best of the
Top Fifteen Jeopardy Questions
- I’m leaving you Alex.
- Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
- Where is the keg, bra?
- What is the frequency Kenneth?
- Where is the beef?
- Who is scruffy looking?
- Whaddup?
- What does this button do?
- What’s love got to
Shortage Feared
Thousands of people may be affected by an ovary shortage expected to hit Berkeley by the end of the month. “We ask that people remain calm and do not resort to hoarding ovaries,” said Berkeley Mayor Shirley Dean, hoping to … Read More
New Clinton Sex Scandal Allegations Rumored
Iraqis prepare for death
Thousands of Iraqi peasants prepared for the afterlife last Thursday when it was rumored that Monica Lewinsky would make further allegations concerning her involvement with the President. White House analyst Mitch Westman believes that the American military response will depend … Read More
Bom / Counterbom
Why Kaczinski is innocent
The truth is that Kaczinski didn’t do it. He’s completely innocent because the real Unabomber is my neighbor. I know, I know. You think that your neighbor is the real one. But I can provide proof. … Read More
Top Fourteen Things You Do Not Want To Wake Up and Find Inside Your Ass
- This ridiculous list
- A brontothere (look it up)
- Intel<sup>TM</sup>
- Klingons
- The other white meat
- A human lung
- Bad karma
- A spacious, sunlit apartment located on Northside
- El Nino
- You don’t know what it is, but it’s a-headin’ North.
- Herve Villachez
Top Ten Overheard Lines on the All Dedication Station
- “Yo quiero Taco Bell.”
- “Can you hold on? There’s someone on the other line.”
- “Here’s a shout-out to all the 510 peeps who know that this shit gone down in the Eastside, bee-yotch. Hi mom.”
- “I just wanted someone to
Top Ten Rejected Bubblicious Bubble Gum<sup>TM</sup> Flavors
- Hemlock
- Green Apple Splatters
- Poppin’ Plastic
- Tropical Tartar Sauce
- Wood Shavings Splash
- Ejaculatte
- Sand and Rock Suprise
- Broken Glass
- Chalky Chalk
- Slammin’ Salt
