Penis Protection Program
In a t-shirt that reads “This is not an erection”
Give it a mustache and overcoat
Cast it alongside mega-hunk Mel Gibson
Drill a hole through the back of your backpack and hold in front of you … Read More
A controversial film by Oliver Stone
Where man is the endangered species
Part x. Part y. All x
By the producers of The Air Up There
She?s the best cop in the world, he?s a dinosaur
In the world of … Read More
Tiger pit just inside door
Inflict a storm of sour vitriol on each individual person who comes in late rather than wait until about forty minutes into the lecture, when everone who’s going to come in late has already come … Read More
French Fry
One More!
Fabulous!
… Read More
Billy is 4 feet wide and half as tall
Billy is comprised of superdense matter which causes him to have a strong gravitational pull, thus giving him an inherent dodgeball disadvantage
Color of his skin
You saw Billy take a … Read More
Top Ten Things To
Frederick Cho
Ja
Oramic camera
Cho villa
Fried Chicken
Teflon
Da
Peter
Gold nuggets
… Read More
Tsar Search
Joseph Stalin riding a flying poodle
Mickey Mouse, but crying
The Fox Trotsky
Iron Eagle VI
Compassionate Totalitarianism
Dr. Zhivago’s Top Five R&B Video Countdown
The Two-Party System in which, somehow, the same guy wins every time
Palestine’s … Read More
“You’re just a frizzy haired white woman making a comfortable wage, what are you gonna do about it?
“If by ‘floss’ you mean ‘masturbate,’ then yes.”
“No, but you can keep what you find.”
“What do you think these birds … Read More
Jar of sunshine
Ring of keys, but not those keys
Two consecutive lifetime supplies of chocolate
Funyuns
Chip to wear on your shoulder when you get out
License plate starter kit
Cake w/ emory board
DVD of “Dead Man Walking” … Read More
Wake up at 5pm and realize you missed it all
Find a Frisbee and the closest unshaven girl to play with
Code photo-realistic 3-D sunlight effect in basement of video game company
Tape the day, and save it for later … Read More
