Top Ten Ways to Respond to “Have You Been Flossing”

  1. “You’re just a frizzy haired white woman making a comfortable wage, what are you gonna do about it?
  2. “If by ‘floss’ you mean ‘masturbate,’ then yes.”
  3. “No, but you can keep what you find.”
  4. “What do you think these birds are for?”
  5. “It’s just not realistic when you have braces.”
  6. “Where do you think these fajitas come from?”
  7. “No need, since I pulled every other tooth.”
  8. “It’s hard when you suck on raw sugar cane all day.”
  9. “Isn’t that what I pay you people for?”
  10. “No. Have you been douching?”