Toss in junk drawer
Take seven and form your own damn octet
Drop out windows
Have join Sigma Phi Epsilon to emphasize how dead the house is
Enroll in hard classes to lower the mean
Line them up, then knock … Read More
You saw the stereo you just bought for $399 at Best Buy for $329.
There are two friends in your apartment, and enough alcohol for fifty
You’re eating Super-Sized fries.
You’re old and white, but your wife doesn’t look old…she … Read More
The one about Hoku Jeffrey/Lauren Bausch
The really long, rambling one
The one that references an earlier entry
The one that’s not a joke
The timely reference to campus news
The shamelessly unfunny coding/physics joke
The self-deprecating one
The one … Read More
You’re an infant, you’re hungry, you’ve got a poopy diaper, and you have feet the size of an NBA power forward
You’re in a bathtub full of ice, but your kidneys have not been removed, so you’re still not sure … Read More
Your group of quality friends have already gotten with her
bonus hole
She’s two feet tall and makes your penis look enormous
has all her papers and she’s clean
feet tightly bound
thick healthy hymen
She reminds you of your … Read More
Mark Paul Gosselar eternal monologue to camera
A giant trophy case for Tom Holmoe after we kill him
Vietnam War Boring Wall of Names
Ethnic studies eternal cop car flame
Quake III Klebold/Harris Edition
The Airwolf Sanctuary
Washington Monument
Religion … Read More
Keep one Netscape browser window open to Pizza.org while writing personal emails
Lie down in giant vat of pizza sauce and make pizza angels
Order pizza!
Repeat in loud voice, “I sure am making a lot of pizzas!”
Ride around … Read More
A controversial film by Oliver Stone
Where man is the endangered species
Part x. Part y. All x
By the producers of The Air Up There
She?s the best cop in the world, he?s a dinosaur
In the world of … Read More
Tiger pit just inside door
Inflict a storm of sour vitriol on each individual person who comes in late rather than wait until about forty minutes into the lecture, when everone who’s going to come in late has already come … Read More
Knock over three skyscrapers with a softball
One of those games with a squirt gun and either galloping horses, or inflating balloons…
Throw a dart and inflate the balloon
Toss water into a dish floating on a pool of quarters … Read More
