- ‘Cause
- He got the OK from Barbara Lee over tears and coffee
- Because he’s our fairly and democratically elected commander-in-chief
- Got consent from Israeli Parliament instead
- Because no one cares what he does with his toy soldiers
- Thought consent was
Tag Archives: top ten
Top Ten Pirate Pickup Lines
- “Is there an ‘X’ on the seat of your pants? Because there’s wond’rous booty buried underneath!”
- “Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre you free on Saturday?”
- “Yo, ho! Bottle of rum?”
- “Do you have the latest copy of Windows XP with cracked product activation?” (software
Top Five Orientation Sessions
- When Helping Hurts: Learning to Love Your Cactus Plants
- Sexual Orientation Orientation
- This is a Pain Stick: Getting Along With Orderlies at Your Mental Institution
- So You’ve Joined the Space Program Ice Cream Social
- The Uterus, Your New Home
Top Ten Pornographic Summer Movies (About Cereal)
- Road to Nutrition (director’s cut)
- Monsoon Gangbang Chex
- Halloween Resur-erection Crunch
- The Cum of All Nutritional Fears
- My Big Fat-Free Greek Orgy
- Special K-19: The Widowfucker
- Divine Secretions of the Mueslix Sisterhood
- The Scorpion Cheeri-O-Ring
- Austin Plow-her in Goldmember Grahams
Top Ten Reasons You’re Hanging Upside Down
- Turning frown upside down
- Y’ain’t got no neck
- Hiccups
- You just invented a new language in which “upside down” means “curtains.”
- To protect yourself from that one serial killer who only kills right-side-uppies.
- You’re a dyslexic bat in bizarro land
Top Ten Tang Center Pamphlets
- Love Shouldn’t Suck
- Making Sex Dangerouser
- Motherfuck Your Regular Insurance: $79.99 for a month of Claritin
- Jesus Christ, Not Chlamydia Again
- What to Do With Pamphlets When You Come in With a Broken Arm
- So You Lost Another Fucking Gold
Top Ten Forgotten Pop Songs About Child Abduction
- I’m So Angry, I Take Your Baby
- Teacher’s Hot For Me
- Help!
- Leaving On a Jet Plane (Against My Will)
- Lucy in the Sky with a Gag and Tied Wrists
- Burning Down The House to Cover My Tracks
- I Want
Top Five Movies Featuring Internet Constructions
- www.geocities.com/ SunsetStrip/ Bedroom/9029/
- swimfan69IM mefordirtypre teenlolitasex rapebondage fisting@aol.com
- feardotorg.net
- swimfan85@aol.com
- feardotcom.com
Top Ten Things to Be Buried In
- Na Gadda Da Vida
- Cognito
- Woolly mammoth’s belly
- Spite of your dying wishes.
- Styyyyle
- Plaid
- Bacon
- The body of a slightly larger, equally dead man
- Multiple suitcases
- A suitcase
Top Ten Proposed Solutions to Housing Crunch
-
“Everyone sleeps at the Chancellor’s House” month
-
Only admitting people between 4’8″ and 5’3″ in order to squeeze them into new quintuple dorm rooms.
- Encouraging male students to masquerade as girls so they can live in sorority houses with
