- I’m gay, you’re gay, we’re all gay
- You can help yourself to Mom as long as you pretend you’re me
- The babysitter’s dead
- I hide the porn in the veggie crisper
- Your mother was adopted
- I “make love” to your
… Read More
- Silently go about their business
- Each other
- Talk shit
- Conspire against Castro
- Wait for the GHB to be put in their
drink
- Solve crimes
- Magically transfer excrement from
body to toilet, because girls don’t take
shits
- Discuss merits of Hobbesian
… Read More
- Sleeping in gutter
- Trying to throw bricks through
Tedford’s window
- Buying new polo shirts
- Watching Cal Games with the sound
off, pretending he’s coaching
- Sitting in a bathtub of peach schnapps
eating ice cream and watching 24
straight hours of
… Read More
- Right of Eminent Federal Domain on
the Waterways; also, whores
- Right to Left
- Right to Masturbate in Public
Restrooms
- Right to Freedom of Peach
- Right to Freedom of Speech
- Right to Bitches and 40’s
- Right to respect treaties with the
… Read More
- Foreigners!
- Black market GSI’s
- Just look things up in a goddamn
dictionary!
- One lecture for all classes
- Webcasts, webcasts, webcasts
- Move over to more self-teaching
system
- Russian roulette
- Sticks and stones
- Monkeys with fl ashcards
- Lecturers withdraw to West Bank
… Read More
- I Touch Myself
- Beethoven’s 5th
- Ambulance “theme song”
- I Want Candy
- The Entertainer
- College Girls Are Easy
- Ice Ice Baby
- Any song by Poison
- Suicide is Painless
- Hot in Herre
… Read More
- George W. Bush Cha-Cha
- Echo Tango Foxtrot
- Momar Meringue
- Intifandango
- PLO Polka
- Hamas Hustle
- Jihad Jig
- Sharon Swing
- Lindh-y Hop
- Osama Mamba
… Read More
- The lint trap clears
- Window pops up that reads: “Do you really want to push the red button?”
- Telegraph drunk yells “Ow, that’s my nose!”
- Bigger red button kicks your ass
- Shields pop up at last possible second
- All traffic
… Read More
- The Legend of Bagger Steve
- Steven Seagal Counts Backward From
50, Part 2
- Point Break Your Face
- Steven’s Choice
- Not Without My Son
- Wild On Steven Seagal
- I Like to Squint
- Straight to Video: Then to the Trash-can
- Out for
… Read More
- Coming means “having an orgasm”
- When you’re imagining having sex
with Elizabeth Hurley
- You just threw the British and they’re
a boomerang
- When you run over the Town Crier
with a horse
- When you’re drunk in Boston
- Before the British
… Read More
