Top Ten Things Tom Holmoe is Doing Right Now

  1. Sleeping in gutter
  2. Trying to throw bricks through
    Tedford’s window
  3. Buying new polo shirts
  4. Watching Cal Games with the sound
    off, pretending he’s coaching
  5. Sitting in a bathtub of peach schnapps
    eating ice cream and watching 24
    straight hours of “Who’s the Boss”
  6. Starting ineligible players
  7. Writing memoir titled I Came, I Saw…
  8. Fucking us from the grave
  9. Pondering 15-40 lifetime record
  10. Moving on