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Newsweek ranked it #153 based on AP “Silently Assassinating Lord Toranaga of the Ponzu Province” Scores
Teachers predominantly Dutch
Chuck Norris gives commencement speech EVERY YEAR
Professor of Stealth: Jimmy Cymbal-Shoes
Other ninja schools consider you a ninja party school … Read More
Hey, can I mug your jugs while we enjoy jugs of Mug?
Damn girl, you got value. Just like Safeway Select cola.
You’ve got me so hot that I’ve got to call a doctor. And that doctor is Dr. Pepper… … Read More
Totally Shaved Eagle
Cummingbird
Barely Legal Fledglings
Uncircumcised Cockatoo
Black-and-larger-than-average-bird
… Read More
Margarita: the Tijuana Hooker with AIDS
Anything from Pike
Schnapps Your Neck
Three Mile Island Iced Tea
Shirley Temple (see her career)
White Russian Roulette
Manhattan Project
Drive-by Shooter
Unprotected Sex on the Beach
Smirnoff Ice Pick in the Heart … Read More
Men More Capable
Unwillingness to Put Nose to the Grindstone… of semen
Unwillingness to Get Feet Wet… with semen
Chutes & Ladders… but mostly just chutes
Giant Rotating Fan Blade
Greasy Wall
Out-of-Fuel Jet Pack
Hard to Walk in Heels … Read More
Good Friday just Casual Friday
Really confusing as to who Gandalf symbolizes
Science gets a tally in the “win” column
It’s just “The Testament” now
WWJD commonly understood as “Who Wants Jack Daniels?”; provides little moral direction
If you’re Jewish, … Read More
Licorice Ropenhagen
Good n’ Plenty n’ Benson n’ Hedges
Mr. Goodbarliament
Kohibaz 4 Kidz
Uncle Colonel’s Old Timey Smooth Carolina Tobaffy: the Tobacco-Taffy
Lucky Strike n’ Ikes
Merit Badges
Skoal-Aid
Virjunior Slim-mints
Caramelboro
… Read More
Hard to find a foursome, but if you do, it’s really worth it
Gophers make it more interesting
The fewer poor people involved, the better
First time uncomfortable, takes too long
Both were invented by the Scottish
Really unusual to … Read More
You’re just coming to grips with your hobosexuality
You’re protesting clean, safe sex with attractive people
You’re a member of CalPIRG
He said he was a doctor and he swore he’d call you sometime
You’re from Stanford, and it’s better … Read More
