- Madison, the most retarded name of all
- Skee-Ball
- Mrs. Carlson, or whatever the name of their social worker is
- Disneyland
- Graham Crackers
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- Least time with mother’s love
- Most uplifting Pantera album
- Deadest baby
- Most nostrils
- Gayest scarf
- Wife won’t shut up
- Fattest fat fatty
- Least amount of skin
- Biggest Jew
- Most needs his nappy time
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- Wears a lot of turtlenecks
- Enjoys “musical theatre,” insofar as “musical theatre” is “being homosexually dominated”
- Insists on scented candles when dripping hot wax onto his groin
- Sports leather platform boots when attending ’70s-themed parties, when not attending ’70s-themed parties
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- Sports an “Old Delta Bluesman” T-shirt, but not ironically
- Ken Burns always peering through the windows
- Lots of red suspenders
- His room always smells like whiskey and tears
- Don’t done got no replacement toilet roll
- Every week, Eric Clapton stops
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- Elect him again, for the first time
- Now more than ever, horses in midstream like Ike
- Continue remembering September 11th
- And this time, we won’t need Jesus!
- Eight amendments down, 19 to go
- Play it again, Scalia
- This may be
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- Have more than a passingresemblance to Ed Asner
- Your measurements are 36-24-36-2
- Keep accidentally wearing yourthongs backwards
- Your finger isn’t long enough toactivate gag reflex
- Clothes you model keep burstinginto flames
- More penises then generally usual
- Won’t do partial nudity;
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- My fetus is an honor student at
prenatal academy
- Free China, Stop Tibet
- Keep your nanomachines out of
my Uterus!
- We’re here, we’re queer, we’re 50% of the US Population
- Stop the Dolphins
- Save the Whale
- US out of Eurochinaustralia
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